You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
