So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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