her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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