she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
