I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize