Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Randomize
