If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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