guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Someone came in the potted fern
MIDGETS
????
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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