no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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