The best revenge is premature balding
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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