I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I am morally bankrupt
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
