I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
