Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
