she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
