why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would ride that face into the sunset
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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