Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize