Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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