she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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