Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
