Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
