If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
