Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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