The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
