Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
