I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
