Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Panties = found
Randomize
