I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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