so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
