We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
