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Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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