I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
