I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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