you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
