I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
