So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
