Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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