I faked an abortion last night.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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