shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Everyone says I win the strip club
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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