I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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