i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
