Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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