Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
