Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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