So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He felt like a one man threesome
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
