420 ftw
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
