He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
