i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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