I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
