I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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