so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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