How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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