My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
