No stitches, just platelets and will power
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
