I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
