Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
