why do cheetos always look like penises
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize