Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
