hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
