Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
