May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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