she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
