Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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