I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
