return my video game
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
